Update 5: December 25th - Part 2

Good morning. It is weird to think that it is the morning of the day after Christmas here, but still the evening of Christmas back home.

I was very emotional last night while writing about the evening. I am ready to share cute and funny stories today.

I need to talk about food, first. Breakfast was another yummy morning of bread, yogurt and cheeses. Yesterday’s addition was a fig jam that is made just for Sabriya. I told Mahir that I like fig jam while we were shopping at a grocery store the day before. One jar had been made for Sabriya and the other was made for Tara. It is more the consistency of honey than that of a jam. It is sweet that you can only use a little bit at a time. I love it so much.

Tawar offered to show us around the Citadel and we were supposed to be at his house by 10:30am. We stopped to pick up Mohammed first. The family house is only minutes away from the Citadel, so we walked from the house. Shayan also joined us. She is Kosar’s twin sister, although you would never known it by their appearance. Kosar and Tawar look very similar. Going up to the Citadel required a VERY steep ramp that goes straight up the hill. Tawar led the way, setting a steady pace. He would stop and enjoy the view, but I didn’t want to lose momentum. Hiking up mountains is not a skill I possess. I was a little winded by the time I got to the top. Luckily, it was not a very long ramp.

There is a very large, brick archway and a stone statue at the top. I thought it must be very old. Tawar said that it was only built to look old by Sadam. Locals hate the addition and think that it ruins the integrity of the place. The real Citadel can be seen after to cross through the arched gate.

(Side Note: We just started power outage #4. At least this one is happening during the day, so we are not sitting in the dark.)

All of the structures inside are crumbling. Different groups have come in to do major restoration projects to bring backs its former glory. The buildings were Shownim was born and where Mahir lived as a small boy are the only buildings that you can still go into right now. That is very convenient! J The house Shownim lived in was made into a Textile Museum. I would have loved to see it, but it has recently been closed for the restoration project. Most of my pictures are of where Mahir lived. This whole area was owned by Noraddin and Rashid. The area is in ruins, but you can easily still see the beauty. I have taken so many pictures. I wish I could upload them all, but the connection speed is too slow to upload many.

After walking through all of the areas that are still open to the public, we went down to the main market area for lunch. We went to the oldest Kabob restaurant that is still open in Erbil. There is only one menu item, meat kabobs, so there is no need for a menu! All you need to tell them is how many kabobs you would like. The kitchen is just outside of the restaurant. I was able to watch them make the kabobs as we waited for our table. There is a large mound of ground beef on the counter. The chef wets his hands and shapes the meat into patties around a skewer that is flat and wide like a sword. As orders come in, another chef sticks the swords into an oven filled with glowing coals. Other swords of tomatoes and peppers are put in there to roast. The chef rotates them frequently and rakes the coals to expose the glowing embers. All meat is cooked well done here, which is exactly how I like it. I love not having to say, “No pink AT ALL in my meat, please.” Here that is just understood. When the meat and vegetables are done, the chef removes the meat from the sword with his bare hands. I do not know how he does not burn himself. One second it was directly in the fire and the next second it was on the plate. I told Mohammed that it must be magic. He did not correct me, so I guess it is magic. J

We were able to fit our party of six at a table in the back of the small restaurant. Fire codes need not apply here. We were packed in so tight. Alan said this was a truly authentic experience. Tanya, Mohammed and Shayan sat on one side, while Alan, Tawar and I sat on the other. Large plates of kabobs were brought from the kitchen. A huge stack of flat bread that looks like naan was piled on the table. You rip the bread in half and fill it with half a kabob, a roasted tomato quarter and raw onions sprinkled with sumac. In the states we have salt and pepper shakers. Here they have salt and sumac shakers. The meat was delicious. It was greasy, but I did not eat nearly enough to make me sick, as I was warned. We were all served a bottle of water and a yogurt drink. The yogurt drink is made from cow milk that is watered down to make it the perfect consistency. It is low fat, but easily has your full daily dose of salt! I watched a family at the next table pour a lot of extra salt into the drink. Tanya says that the drink is supposed to be served very salty. The meal was also served with yellow pickles. I thought they must me a pickled yellow squash, but really they are a different type of cucumber that grows locally. It is very good. Tawar treated all of us to lunch. Everyone has been so generous. I wish we could pay for something to help out, but we are sweetly pampered guests.

After lunch, we continued to wander through the alleys of the market. It is kind of like Pikes Place Market is Seattle. It is equally crowded with hundreds of small shops. Here, people walk so quickly that you must really have a purpose in mind. I wanted to stroll through and look at all of the shops, but that was not an option. The fabrics hanging everywhere are gorgeous. It is a wonderland of sparkly beads and sequins. I want them all. We stopped at an old tea house to have some afternoon tea. It was muggy and damp. The tea was VERY strong. However, the experience was worth it. The walls were covered in old photos. Some of them were even of Alan's relatives. The power went out for a while. I was happy I had a flashlight app on the iPhone, so that we could still see our tea. :)

We continued to walk through the market after our tea. All of a sudden, I was surrounded by little girls pulling on my coat, touching my face and hair, and talking to me so quickly in Kurdish and Arabic. I had no idea what they were saying. Alan tried to protect me, but they were tenacious! All I could think to say is, “Hwa Hafeese! Hwa Hafeese!” meaning “Bye! Bye!” This did not help. Tawar finally pushed them and yelled at them. This made them leave. I learned after it was over that the girls had been telling me, “Oh you are so beautiful! Look at your lovely skin and lovely hair! Give us money!” It was something along those lines. Alan said he didn’t know how to handle the situation because it has been so long since he has seen this happen. He promises me that he will do what he saw Tawar do, if it happens again. I forgot to mention that Tawar had warned Tanya that I should try to not look American today. Tanya didn’t tell me this until we were already in the car. I don’t know what I would have been able to do. I look completely out of place here physically. My blond hair and pink skin stand out. I guess I could have used a scarf to cover my hair, but I did not bring one with me. We will be going to the market again, so I will think about my outfit more carefully next time. I thought I was doing ok earlier in the day. Tanya and Shayan are so beautiful that most of the people stared at them and didn’t see me. J Ladies, you truly are lovely. Is that ok to say?

Shayan took us to a traditional Kurdish carpet shop. We are trying to pick out a special present for my parents. The shopkeeper was very friendly, yet he is also out to make a profit. I have no concept of what a good price is for these carpets. They are handmade and beautifully constructed. Tanya pulled out several carpets. We talked about colors and patterns. The shopkeeper was helping us as Tanya explained what we were looking for in Kurdish. Suddenly, the shopkeeper spoke in English and said, “Only $50!” I looked at Alan and Tanya and said excitedly, “Only $50? That is great!” I see Alan and Tanya look at me with expressions screaming, “No! Don’t say that!” I missed the part about how haggling is common practice in the traditional markets. In Kurdish, the shopkeeper had originally said they were going to be $100. I was speaking in English (obviously) and he guessed correctly that I would be naïve and gullible about prices. It was only after we looked like we might leave that he lowered it to $50. I still think it sounds like a fair price. However, I have no concept of their worth. Back home, when something in handmade, it is extra special and deserves a higher price. They told me that if he says $50, then we can probably get it for $20! Aunts Faryal and Sharmin are master hagglers. We will go back to the market with them another day.

This completes my account of my very unique and special Christmas. Today I am not feeling very well. I hope I am not getting Alan’s cold. I was not able to eat much breakfast because that is when I started to feel ill. I did have more of the yummy fig jam on half of a croissant before deciding that breakfast was not a great idea. The main power is not back on yet. They have a personal generator here that we are using to run the house. A car will be picking us up in little while to take us to Uncle Sarteeb’s office. I hope I feel better by lunch because I want to eat the lunch Tara is preparing. I will write more later. I hope everyone back home is getting a good night’s sleep.

Update 4: December 25th - Part 1

I am too tired tonight to got into the detail needed to describe this intensely meaningful day. However, I cannot go to sleep until I share what an amazing family that I have married into. I tear up just thinking about how special today has been. I called me mom after dinner to tell her. I could not help crying tears of happiness as I quickly told her about this evening.

Yesterday, Tanya told me that we were going to have a dinner party tonight with some of the family members. She said it would be informal and just family. As preparations were being made today I got the feeling that this was more than just a casual event. I set the table with the nice china and flatware. I did not have napkin rings, so I could not do my famous napkin folds. That will have to be for next time. I brought a glittery, tiny Christmas tree from home to keep in our room. I brought it down to be the center piece for the dining table.

Aunts Sharmin and Faryal arrived first with cousin Kosar. Aunt Tara came with cousins Mohammed and Lara. Uncle Sarteeb arrived alone and left just as his brother, Uncle Saeed, was able to come after work.

We had a feast! They ordered in from Abu Shahab City, a famous restaurant in Erbil. The food came on large platters that were filled with such wonderful food. I tried everything once, then went back for seconds. Tanya and I had gone to a fancy bakery earlier in the day to pick out desserts. They were all so good. Everyone was eating and laughing. It was so special because I realized that they were doing this for me. I am the only one that celebrates Christmas in this whole gathering, yet they Christmas, which is the wonder of being surrounded by a loving family and celebrating that togetherness. On top of all of that, I was also showered with presents.

My heart is full. I am overwhelmed and humbled by their generosity. I didn't know what to expect when I got on the plane in Denver just four days ago. Now I cannot believe that I was ever nervous to come here. It has been a blessing.

Good night, dear friends. I will tell you all about the Citadel and traditional market place tomorrow. Merry Christmas and Happy 6th night of Hanukkah.

Love, Megan & the snoring Habibi

Update 3: December 24th

Now for today’s update. It will feel so good to be caught up. I know it would go faster if I did not include so much detail, but this is how I would describe things to my mom. We can talk on the phone for an hour for just a normal school day. Imagine how long a phone call would need to be for this adventure. Now multiply that number by $2.29/minute. That is how much it would cost per day to share my stories! This is worth it. I hope everyone else reading this that is not my mom enjoys this much detail (and focus on food).

Breakfast this morning was similar to the last. This time we added in different sliced cheeses to roll up into the flat bread. One was a creamy, light cheddar and the other was called Edam, which I thought tasted like a Parmesan. I only had one cup of tea because the plan was to visit more family members today and I was prepared to drink more coffee and tea at their houses. Some of the houses are still in mourning, so I picked my outfit with care. I did not want this new set of family members to have to give me their shoes as well, so I went it search of socks. I did not bring ANY pairs of black socks! What was I thinking? Oh, well I never wear socks with my flats. My sock colors to choose from were white, pink and teal. None of those colors say that I respect that you are in mourning and I am so sorry for your loss. Grr. I was mad at myself. Then I remember, I am in house with three other women! At least one of the must own black socks! I went to Tanya first. No black socks. She was looking through drawers of new nylons. I told her that they didn’t have to be new and I would wash them before giving them back. Nope… not even old black socks. Shownim came to the rescue and found some black socks for me to wear. They were even thin enough that they fit with my flats, but not so thin that the aunts and cousins would start to worry.

Our first stop of the day was a computer shop to get the software needed to run a wireless broadband Internet device on my MacBook. They didn’t have it. We had to wait for Mahir to come back from parking the car to tell him. Luckily, all of the computer stores are within the same block. The storeowner told us that his nephew had a shop down the street and could install the software for us. We found the tiny shop. It had stacks of laptops in various states of repair over every surface. He was very young. He held my brand new, beautiful laptop in one hand and a cigarette in the other. I was stressed, but tried not to let it show. The nephew needed the wireless device to download the software. We did not bring it with us. I thought this meant we would have to drive home and come back later. Christmas Day is a holiday, so I was afraid I would not be able to get online until after Christmas! They said no, they would just go buy another wireless device from the store we had just left. The nephew said he would just go borrow one from his uncle, then give it back. He left his shop unattended with us and a couple other customers. Could you imagine that happening in the states? He was back quickly and did not charge us at all! He said it was a favor to his uncle. The storeowner is a distant relative of Alan’s family. Everyone is so nice. Mahir and Tanya picked out a printer, new mouse and a wireless router. They need to get their DSL line working again. We need to go to the company in person to get it reactivated. So Darrell, this is why Mahir takes so long to email you back. There has been no Internet in the house.

We decided not to visit relatives right away because we did not want to interrupt their lunch. Mahir gave me a tour (in the car) of the main downtown area that surrounds the Citadel. It is an amazing mixture of buildings that look very old and run down, which are next to new buildings and ones in different stages of renovation. It is hard to know if anyone is working on them. I do not see many construction workers. This may be because it is the weekend. Most of the shops are small and the products that they are selling spill out of the door. It is very crowded everywhere. The smells coming out of the different restaurants were delicious. Tawar says he will take us to the oldest Kabob restaurant in Erbil tomorrow. He is afraid I will get sick because of all of the grease. I told him that grease does not worry me as much as bacteria. Tanya laughed and said it is the bacteria that makes the grease taste so yummy! J Oh my. I hope it goes well.

The traffic is still unbelievable. This driving tour was not planned, so I did not take my Bonine or put on my wristbands early. On the second half of our tour into the Christian part of Erbil, I started to feel the motion sickness kick in. The stop and go traffic was most of it, but I was also not facing the direction of traffic. I was looking at the Christmas trees and a row of Santa hats that topped each fence post. There was garland on the banisters and lights on all of the trees. It felt very Christmasy and I was not expecting that. It was nice to have that connection to home.

After a lunch of left-over dolmas and yummy bulgar wheat that tasted like Rice-A-Roni, Topo joined us for lunch! I saw a black cat out of the kitchen window. He was looking at me through the glass. I got SO excited. I ran to the window shouting, “It’s Topo! It’s Topo! It’s a black cat! He came to join us for lunch!” I must have sounded like an excited little kid. They were all laughing at me. Alan warned me that at much as I love cats that I really can’t try to pet them. The stray cats around Erbil have many diseases and are used to being abused by humans. I will have to be content talking to them through the glass.

Alan and I took another nap. How will I sleep through the night if I keep taking naps? Note to self: Stop taking naps! I knew a nap was a bad idea. Alan said we would sleep for just one hour. One hour quickly became two and a half. When we woke up, there was no more denying that Alan has a cold or at least some new, strong allergies. Our plans to visit relatives was put on hold, so Alan could take medicine and try to beat this cold before it gets too bad. It is nice that his mommy is here to take care of him. It is rather bad timing because Shownim sprained her ankle yesterday. We are all chipping in together. Silly Alan should be sleeping right now, but he wants to stay up until I get done with today’s update. It is 2:30 in the morning. The electricity has been back for quite a while.

Alan and I joined Mahir on another drive to pick up Shawarma for dinner. I think Mahir was nervous having me in the car again because I had gotten so sick earlier in the day. The food was so good! I am sorry that I forgot to take pictures. The meat had a wonderful mix of spices in it that made it much more tasty that any Shawarma I have had in the states. The rest of the evening has been very relaxing. We have been watching shows with singers singing traditional songs. They are very different from American music with the way they manipulate their voices. It is very nice. They tell me most of them are love songs. One of them they called “Megan’s Song” because it was about a girl that is sad because she can’t sleep, yet her lover lies there in bed, soundly sleeping. She begs sleep to run away from her habibi’s eyes, so they can both be sleepless. J It really is my song!

Side Note: “Habibi” is my new favorite word. It means “my love.” The problem is that I have been telling Alan he is “my habibi.” When I say that, I am really you are “my my love.”

That is all for today. We are off to the Citadel tomorrow morning. We have to hike up to it because they no longer allow cars inside. Until then, I hope you are all doing well and having a very Merry Christmas. Love, Megan & Habibi

Pictures!

We are at Mahir's family house. We are in the sitting room with Alan's uncle Nihad.

This is another one of the family homes. From Left to Right: Mahir, Tawar, Alan, Araz (Alan's aunt), me, Awaz and Ahang (Araz's sisters)

This is the formal sitting room at Avan's house. (Alan's cousin)

This is Alan with his favorite car.

It is a 2001 Peageot 406.

He used it to attract the ladies.

There are scratch marks on the trunk from where girls' rings would scratch the paint as they pet the car. This was in Mahir's words, not Alan's. :)

Lunch!!! The main star is the platter of dolmas. Off to the left is a pot of black rice and a salad.

This is Rashid Agha, the founder of the family.

Mahir said, "This is the man we owe all of our wealth to."

This is Noraddin Rashid Agha! This is Rashid Agha's son. It is Alan's grandfather. He died well before Alan was born.

Update 2: December 23rd

Alan and I woke up about 7 am Friday morning. I had been up longer than that, but I heard Mahir walking around downstairs, so I thought it would be ok to get up. I didn’t want to wonder around the house by myself! Mahir is not used to people being up so early. Shownim, Tanya and Sabriya usually sleep in a little later. I was letting Alan take the lead as to what to eat for breakfast. Mahir didn’t like this. He said I should eat what I want to eat and not what Alan tells me to eat. I would look to Alan for support. Mahir would tell me, Don’t look at him! Make up your own mind!

Oh dear. J One of my main goals coming here was to make a good impression and by no means appear to be a pushy, demanding American. I am here to have the real Iraqi experience. I want to eat whatever they would normally eat. I am very lucky because all of these foods have been amazing.

(Side Note: We are having our first power outage! Luckily, I had my computer open, so we still had light in the room. They have flashlights here that charge on the wall during times with electricity, which can be removed during times of power outages. We have them all over the house. The power went out at 10:30pm. Let’s see if I am still writing when it comes back on.)

A standard breakfast starts with traditional Kurdish bread. It has a diameter of about 2 feet and is a thin as a sheet of paper. It sits on the counter in a large stack and is dry like a cracker. When you are ready to eat it, you run water over it from the sink and place a moist towel over it to rehydrate the bread. Within a few minutes it is nice and soft. We start eating the bread by dipping it in a special yogurt made by a friend of the family that lives in the countryside. The best yogurt is made of all sheep’s milk. This is easily available in the Spring and Summer as the little lambs are born. In the winter months, it is very special to get sheep milk yogurt. Now it is mixed with goat milk because it is easier to obtain. Alan describes the yogurt as being sour. That makes it sound somewhat unpleasant. Rather, it is the best yogurt that I have ever had. I am not a fan of sweet yogurt. This yogurt is savory and a little tangy. Alan and I also shared a banana imported from Ecuador. I had two cups of strong black tea to help make up for that fact that I didn’t sleep much.

Friday’s agenda was family visits at Mahir’s family houses. It is now a compound of four houses connected by garden areas and garages. This led to my first MAJOR mistake of the trip. When you enter a house you usually need to take off your shoes. I was wearing flats with no socks. I wasn't worried. My feet were clean and my toenails were nicely painted. I was focusing on meeting everyone and making a good impression. Tanya came in with a pair of slippers saying that everyone was worried about my bare feet! Oh dear! I have created quite a stir. They made me Turkish coffee with sugar to cut down on the bitterness. It was so strong. Mom, I thought you would have enjoyed it very much. Alan told me never to refuse food when it is offered to me. Someone tells me to take more. It doesn’t matter if I am full. I take more! They passed around sweets with the coffee. It was a chewy candy filled with pistachios and covered in flour to keep them from sticking. The flour feel all over my brown pants, so I looked like a mess trying to wipe it all off. I remembered to take out my camera at the first house and got some nice pictures. One of the aunts said that she does not want her picture on the Internet, so I will not be posting that one. I will post pictures of Noraddin (Alan’s grandfather) and Rashid (Alan’s great grandfather). Their pictures were on the wall at the first house.

The aunts showed us the dolmas they were making us for lunch. They looked wonderful. I have a picture of them from when they were done and plated. The kitchen door led to the next house with more aunts and cousins. This is where cousins Kosar (who I met while he got his Master’s degree at Oklahoma State), Shayan and Tawar live with their mother and her sisters. I was allowed to leave my shoes on there, so crisis averted. I was served such a yummy apricot juice. It was thick, almost like a smoothie. Everyone was so nice. They apologized for speaking Kurdish so much and for their rusty English. I commented when I could, but mostly just smiled and acted like I knew what was going on. When my cheeks were tired, I drank my juice. Kosar was still sleeping and would not wake up when he was told we were there. We later learned that he thought his mom was joking to fool him into getting out of bed. When Kosar was at our house, it was common for him to sleep until 3, 4 or 5 pm. Tawar came home while we were there. He is about our age and very friendly. He offered to take us to the Citadel (the old castle) of Erbil tomorrow (Christmas Day).

The third house belonged to another cousin. She has four children who go to an English school. Unfortunately, they were very shy and didn’t want to practice their English with me. I did have to take off my shoes again, which causes another stir. The daughter brought me a pair of sparkly flip-flops. Note to self: WEAR SOCKS!!! The aunt did not want her picture taken, so I took pictures of the beautiful light fixtures and furniture. International House Hunters should come here. Call HGTV.

The fourth house was another house of cousins. There were more hugs and kisses. Every new house was filled of warm, welcoming people. It was so nice. The furniture in this house was so nice. I wish I had taken pictures of it. The shape of the chairs was so unique and the fabric had a rich pattern of red and gold. The tablecloth was covered in beads and sequins. I loved it! Every time I see someone wearing sparkles, I know they are my type of person. J

The aunts sent lunch home with us. Lunch is the main meal of the day, which is served around 2pm. Dinner is lighter and is served between 8 and 10pm. We had dolmas. It was similar to the ones that Alan makes, for those of you that have tried them. However, these had fewer spices and more tomato sauce. They stuffed onions, cucumbers and squash, which I am used to. However, they also stuffed Swiss chard, eggplant, tomatoes and bell peppers. We didn’t have the yogurt sauce, but the extra tomato sauce made it so moist that it wasn’t missed. The cousins included a small pot of black rice and chicken just because they know how much we love it. Yum! A picture is worth a 1000 words, so I will post a picture.

After a much needed nap, my hair was a mess. I braided it. This led to maybe my most touching moment of the trip so far. Sabriya came out of her room and saw me sitting in the main room. She walked up to me and pet my head and ran her hands down my braid. She told me that my hair was beautiful (dzoo-ana) and called me “my bride, my bride!” It is common for the daughter-in-law, or in this case grand daughter-in-law, to be called the bride long after the wedding. I felt so accepted. Yay me! I must be doing something right. We don’t even speak the same language, but she accepts me. She does tell Alan often that he should have taught me more Kurdish before coming here. She also tells me that I must learn more Kurdish. Everyone helped me write out a long list of important Kurdish words to know. I have my cheat sheet now!

The first full day went very well. Sitting in the living room with the curtains drawn, it could have been a scene from anywhere in the states. This is a normal, loving family. It is universal. There is nothing foreign about this. J Happy.